I’m not supposed to love you. You left me. Well I left you,technically but only when you put my heart in jeopardy and I could take no more. Yet now I find myself waiting on your calls. Wondering if you’re even thinking of me at all and wishing we could just go back even though I’m not supposed to love you. 

I miss the way you held me closely. Kissed me and told me you loved me and meant it, or at least I hope so. As of now, I honestly don’t know. Considering the fact that you kept my heart in a choke hold and have yet to allow it to beat on its own. I’m not supposed to love you. 

But I find myself missing your crazy sense of humor and your smell. Daydreaming of the things you did well. How you were always there when I needed you. Allowed me to be my true self no matter what because you knew al I had to give was love. And respect and honor. And

I’m not supposed to love you…but I do. Too many seconds of my day are spent thinking about you and what we were and what we could be and how we ended so abruptly and heart were broken and trust was lost. Memories faded, never to be relived or revisited….